The ISWG is a blog hop where writers can share their fears and insecurities about the writing life. To learn more, check out their website here.
I have been very insecure about something lately. So, I wrote this book (heh). And I started querying it. But instantly, I just felt like it wasn't going to happen. At its heart, this book is a dystopian, though I truly believe it's different than a normal dystopian (even my cp's have said so!).
But still, dystopian. You hear the agents cringing from here, don't you? So I'm done querying. I have a handful of publishers I will be submitting directly to before long. In the meantime, I'm working on something new. And I'm loving it! I think this will be the best thing I've written so far, which yay for getting better with each book.
It's very different from my dystopian. It's set in the early 1800's, and I'm calling it my steampunk/Great Gatsby baby. I fondly imagine this baby in a nice hardcover, having landed an agent and publishing deal (of course that's putting the cart before the horse, but that is my dream: and I daydream about my dream all the time). This imagining makes me wonder about my dystopian. On the sliiiim chance a publisher does accept it and it gets published: Is it good enough?
Is this the book I want to debut with? I used to feel fiercely about this book. Now, with the arrival of steampunk/GG, my enthusiasm has waned. But I worked long and hard on my dystopian, and wrote it to the best of my ability. So is that good enough? If I were so lucky to be published with it, would my doubts go away? Or would I still feel like it's not quite worthy of being out there? I have troubled my cp's with this, and amazing gals that they are, they've reassured me it's good enough. But my neurotic writer-brain has issues (so.many.issues).
And ack. This post definitely has me feeling super insecure now! But...good therapy? ;) Also, this is my first ISWG post-- I hope I did it 'right', lol!