Friday, June 17, 2016

Twitter Fear

I have this hang-up when it comes to replying to tweets on Twitter. I will be scrolling through my feed, and see a tweet that catches my eye. I want to respond, but I always do something first. I hover over the person and read their bio.
 
Are they agented? Or a published writer? Or are they like me, a writer who doesn't have a book title in their bio (yet). When I see that they're an agented writer/and or published author (especially w/the Big 5), that's when I hesitate. Will they curl their nose at having someone they don't know replying to them? 

Or will they just think it's nice that one of their followers is interacting w/them? Or b/c they don't know me, will they flip their hair/twirl their mustache and think: Who is she to reply to me?

Now to turn this around, when I have someone I don't know (as in I don't follow their blog, or know them from a forum, or haven't interacted w/them on social media here and there) respond to something I've shared, it OF COURSE doesn't bother me. I like that they took the time to like or reply to whatever epic wisdom I shared with the world. ;) 

But I'm not any kind of fancy potato here. And I know this is where my insecurity is tripping me up. 

That somewhere deep down I feel like I'm not good enough since my eight years of writing hasn't gotten me that magical 'repped by' in my bio. Or TITLE OF AMAZING BOOK HERE (name of fabuloso publishing co. here). And so without one or both of those things, I'm hesitant to interact with those people that do have that. 

And I also know it's not fair to think that those agented/pubbed writers are automatically going to feel snobby about me responding to them (as isn't that why we're on social media, to grow connections and be heard?). And for the record, I've had plenty of wonderful interactions w/agented/pubbed writers. B/c they're ppl just like me, many of whom struggled for years (just like me) to get where they're at. So most days, I pluck up the courage and go ahead and say whatever I have to say to them:
 
Cute baby!
Love that room!
Adorable dog/kitty!

Some days, my courage fails me, and I exit out of the reply box and slink away. Confidence, it seems, is always a work in progress. So I'm curious if any of you feel this way too? Do any of you struggle with connecting with people whom you fear (however irrationally) are better than you b/c they've already done what you're trying to do?  Or am I just too danged shy and neurotic? Totally a possibility...

Also, those ppl that would flip their hair/twirl their mustache? I know they're not worth my Tweet-replyn' time. 

21 comments:

  1. Yes, I feel this way all the time. So I just lurk a lot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha, yes, lurking. When my courage fails, I am a lurker. ;)

      Delete
  2. I admit, I don't comment on Tweets often. Not sure a conversation with me is what they want or if I'd be butting in on a conversation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly! And if it is a conversation between two ppl that's ongoing, I do stay out. Unless I 'know' them quite well, then I feel comfortable saying something.

      Delete
  3. I definitely feel that way about social media (Facebook, Twitter, etc.). Sometimes I want to comment, but I usually don't. I may "like" a status, though, even if I don't say anything. For example, I found out they were making a movie of Wicked (the musical) and it had a release date. I remembered in a Rolling Stone article that Lin-Manuel Miranda was still waiting for the Wicked movie. So as soon as I saw the news, he was the first one I thought of to tell. But then I remembered he doesn't know me and it'd be weird to say something, so I didn't say anything. Heh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I wish I was brave enough to follow through on my first excited response impulse, but I'm usually not. The other day I saw something on twitter about grilled celery- which I had no idea ppl did that! I had my reply all ready to go and then just backed out. =)

      Delete
  4. I think most people, whether they are agented, published, or none of the above, enjoy when someone replies to their Tweet. That's why they're Tweeting - hoping to get a response.

    It's like the old tree falling in a forest with no one around to hear it ...
    If a Tweet enters the Twittersphere and gets no response, did you really Tweet at all?

    And hey, didn't you and I meet on Twitter?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There's another philosophical pondering for the masses right there! ;) I can't remember honestly...I think I just googled you after reading The Caged Graves and then started following you. And you've always been super nice and gracious!

      Delete
  5. NO, not at all!!! Everyone loves when their tweets get a reply. Now, if you're replying to Stephen King, he might not see it (because THOUSANDS of replies on every tweet)...but I got a follow from Meg Cabot after replying to one of hers and I was SOOOOO intimidated to even speak to her at all online. Not that she replied back...I think the issue there is that they just get so many tweets and, to be honest, when they do reply, people get all fangirly and squealy about it. So my advice would be if your favorite author does respond, treat her like a peer (as she is). If you get fangirly, she'll immediately feel self-conscious and unworthy of all of that attention!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you're right about the issue of getting so many. Too exhausting to keep up w/them all. And how cool that Meg Cabot followed you! Yes, fangirly would be off-putting for sure. I wonder what it would feel like to have thousands of ppl liking and replying- crazy!

      Delete
  6. I'm not huge on Twitter, but I think it pays to remember that even published mega-authors had to get their start somewhere. They weren't always big deals. My guess is that most of them are kind-hearted and appreciate comments, even if they don't have time to engage in a response.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love when people tweet me. It so rarely happens. But I hear ya. I saw a tweet and wanted to respond and then hesitated because I didn't think the person would know who I was.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Leandra, you are braver than I am. I don't even have a twitter acct. V.

    ReplyDelete
  9. This is a great conversation, Leandra! I do the same . . . hesitate because I'm afraid of rejection. And sadly, there have been times when I have replied and the person didn't reply back. It felt like a door slammed on my face. It's happened often enough, that I'm a bit gun shy, though sometimes I reply anyway because I tell myself that a kind reply on Twitter, even if it's ignored by that person, will be seen by others and they may appreciate it, at least. Or maybe that's even worse cause everybody else can see that I was ignored. Eek! It's a conundrum, isn't it? But alas, if anyone wants to reply to me on Twitter, I'm always happy to hear from you and will definitely reply! :) Good post!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I have to admit I've never quite figured out how Twitter conversations work. Seems like when I comment, it just goes into a world of its own. :) But I always retweet and 'like' tweets without it ever crossing my mind what stage in life the original tweeter is at. I figure we're all the same inside. Eight years without a contract is nothing compared to how long it took many of us to have books traditionally published. Keep tweeting, Leandra. The famous would be nowhere without us!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I've had lots of Twitter conversations with people I don't know otherwise. Excepting the super-famous, as noted above, I almost always get replies and thanks for my comments. They're just normal people like us. If anyone has twirled his mustache at me, I haven't noticed. If it ever happened, I'd just unfollow them.

    And yeah, just about no one cares or even notices your publication history. So have fun and join in whenever it suits you.

    ReplyDelete
  12. It is great to read this post and everyone's comments and know I'm not the only one who feels this fear sometimes! We shouldn't worry though should we? Many established writers were in the same position as us. I'm always flattered when someone takes a moment to interact and hopefully they will feel the same. Go for it, Leandra.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Yes! I totally feel this way too sometimes, so you're not alone in this. But I think it's great you're interacting with people on Twitter! I'm awful about interacting lately! I'm great about favoriting a tweet, but rarely do I comment unless I "know" the person. But I think you should keep on doing what you're doing! :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. I was going to say the same thing as Suzanne - I was so glad to read this post and the comments and find out I'm not alone in this! I try with Twitter but never really feel comfortable with it. I think it's great you're interacting more though, like Kristin I usually just "like" things and I know that doesn't amount to much. I'm going to try to screw up my courage and interact more. Thanks for the inspiration!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I missed this post before and really wish I hadn't--better late than never? :) But I TOTALLY hear you on this. I've done the exact same thing. Many times. I've made some progress, but even having a few books out (albeit not with the 5), and a "repped by" tag, I still get nervous :)

    ReplyDelete

I love comments! And appreciate the time it took to leave one, so THANK YOU!!!